Be a Man! Ten drinks. Ten manly drinks.

Let's get this out in the open right now. The drink you hold in your hand does define you as a person. Hey, it's a cruel world of first impressions and rushed judgments, guys; better get used to it. You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but God knows people never stop trying.

Take that malt beverage bottle you're holding in your hand that's glowing brighter than a kitten in Chernobyl. Know what it's saying about you to every woman in the room? I'm a corporate shill who follows trends and can't think for himself, so I ordered this sugary crap.

That's not a drink you have in your hand, it's a gimmick. Real drinks have real liquor in them. Get a grip and show some sophistication, friend. If you're not gonna order a beer -- not the urine samples mass-produced American beers have become but a good beer, either a microbrew or an import with some bite to it -- here are some options that won't emasculate you. Going up to the bartender and ordering an Amaretto Sour or a Singapore Sling just doesn't cut it, and frankly, it never did.

Manhattan (Dry version)

This was the drink of choice for Frank Sinatra and his homeboys in the Rat Pack. Classic drinks stay in style, so stick with a Manhattan when all else fails. If you have a great blended whiskey on hand, like Johnnie Walker Blue Label, even better.

¾ oz. Dry Vermouth 1½ oz. Blended Whisky

How to make it: Stir with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Serve with an olive.

Sidecar This speakeasy standard made a big comeback last year, but who cares about trends? This cocktail was always good. Another classic that says, "I know what the hell I'm doing." Juice of ¼ Lemon 1 oz. Triple Sec (Curacao, Grand Marnier or Cointreau are also acceptable) 1 oz. Brandy or Cognac

How to make it: Stir with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

Martini No drink is more emblematic of manly sophistication than a slick martini. Believe that. There are countless variations, but for my money, I like it dry, maybe dirty, and in the name of all that is sacred and holy, no damn lychees or green apple liqueurs! 1 2/3 oz. Gin 1/3 oz. Dry Vermouth (remember, I like it dry, thus the 5-1 ratio here)

How to make it: Stir vermouth and gin over ice cubes in a mixing glass. Strain into a cocktail glass. Serve with a twist of lemon peel or an olive, if you like that kind of thing.

Scotch & Soda Basic. Simple. Not sweet and neon pink with fruit and umbrellas all over the place. The Scotch and soda combo will live on long after we shuffle off this mortal coil. A great drink. Again, go for the good blended stuff here and save your single malts. 1 oz. Club Soda 1½ oz. Scotch

How to make it: Fill cocktail glass with ice. Add Scotch and club soda and stir gently.

A classy old-school drink, a mix for the brave, a cocktail with beer, and more...

Rusty Nail The name sounds tough and rolls off the tongue like panko breadcrumbs. Rusty Nail. Oh yeah, I have to order this. Hey, not only that, the drink actually tastes great. I "single malt" this puppy from time to time, so feel free, Scotch lovers.

¾ oz. Scotch ¼ oz. Drambuie

How to make it: Pour Scotch over ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass. Float Drambuie on top.

Old-Fashioned This drink is as old-school as old-school gets. But old-school is good. With this drink in hand, you suddenly have taste and wisdom, or at least the appearance of it. Classic, not retro, the Old-Fashioned is the king of cocktails. 2 oz. Blended Whisky 2 dashes Bitters 1 tsp. Sugar Splash of Soda 1 strip Orange Peel 1 strip Lemon Peel

How to make it: Muddle the sugar and bitters together in an old-fashioned cocktail glass. Add some ice, soda, and whisky. Stir and garnish with the orange and lemon peels.

Trinity Cocktail A martini with a kick, the Trinity is heavy on vermouth, which is cool by me. For the sweet vermouth, use the bianco, or white variety. This is a great drink to serve at a party or as an aperitif before dinner. ¾ oz. Sweet Vermouth ¾ oz. Dry Vermouth ¾ Gin

How to make it: Stir with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

Typhoon You look at the ingredients and you think, "no way in hell this works." But try it. The taste is unique and the post-sip buzz is too. What else matters? How about the fact that this drink can definitely be characterized as "manly"? And the champagne adds a nice touch. 1 oz. Gin ½ oz. Anisette 1 oz. Lime Juice Chilled Champagne

How to make it: Shake all ingredients, except the champagne, with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass over ice cubes, fill glass with chilled champagne and stir gently.

Bloody Bull Not for everyone, but whoever drinks this probably has a penis, even if it's a very small one. But no matter! This is a masculine drink -- just look at the name. No need to compensate for anything here, just order it and look unabashedly cool in the process. 1½ oz. Vodka 2 oz. Tomato Juice 2 oz. Beef Bouillon

How to make it: Pour all the ingredients in a highball glass over ice. Stir and add a squeeze of lemon.

Beer Buster This drink is for the brave and the sick. Great for the frat house or a backyard patio party, its taste is entirely dependent on the quality of beer you use. So whatever you do, choose wisely. 1½ oz. 100-proof Vodka Cold Beer or Ale 2 dashes Tabasco Sauce

How to make it: Pour vodka into a highball glass and fill with beer or ale. Add Tabasco sauce and stir.

be a man

Ten drinks. Ten manly drinks. There you have it. Try them one at a time or all at once. But do try them and hey, maybe even make one of them your own personal staple.

Bottoms up.