Is It Easier To Get Sex Nowadays?

I've been getting a fair amount of e-mail lately from would-be players who, despite following my tips in their quest for good times with the ladies, still aren't getting as much as they should or could.

Now, there could be a million reasons for this, and I'm not there to actually see your interactions with hot prospects to help you figure them out.

But I do have one observation that's responsible for more failures than anything else when playing the game: wrong target. Even if today's women are, on average, more liberated and open-minded about sex than in recent years, it's not as though there aren't still many, many types of women, each with their own attitudes and goals. If you only set your sights on hens, I can tell you won't be catching a swan anytime soon!

But the question remains: Is it easier for men to get sex these days than before?

Answer: yes and no.

easier sex

First, let's look at the "yes" side of things, where societal trends and basic female nature are the biggest factors.

Women are more sexually liberated, and therefore aggressive, these days. Since the early '90s, I'd say, there has been a popular movement toward a much more carefree, less politicized female sexuality. TV shows like Sex and the City and the famous Seinfeld episode in which Elaine decides if men are "sponge-worthy" are good examples and engines of this trend. They gave women license to explore and enjoy casual sex, and to talk openly about it.

Younger ladies Women have gained a greater sense of ownership of their bodies over the past generation, with the result that many more women can now view their bodies as men have for much longer -- a toy to get the most out of.

This is especially true for Generation Y women (born in or after 1978), who have no first-hand recollection of the struggles the previous two generations of women went through -- e.g. abortion rights, the pill, equality in the workplace -- to ensure that women wouldn't have to think about these issues in the future.

That future is now, and feminism, long an enemy to players who were just trying to share a good time with women, is simply taken for granted by these Gen Yers.

Sex for young women can therefore be taken as more of a self-contained, fun act, and not necessarily an expression of love with a potential life partner, nor some complex political statement.

More and more women just want to enjoy sex for what it is. By doing that, they also gain sexual experience, learning what they do and don't want from men; the same lessons we learn from our interactions with them.

It is while women are chalking up this experience and unconsciously creating a profile of their future ideal boyfriend that players have an excellent opening.

Today's young woman is even more open to gaining experience with a guy who knows how to tickle her fancy than a woman her age was 10 years ago. And not only do younger women feel freer to seek fun and experience, they're hot, so get out there and enjoy them.

What about the more mature beauties?

More mature ladies But maybe bedding a 21-year-old no longer interests you or isn't realistic for you. There are several categories of mid-20s-and-up women you might aim at.

Recently broken up: Women on the rebound are often up for pure fun after the complexity of their recent relationship.

Still single: As women become more independent, they are getting married later and later these days. Some girls just want to have fun, while others are single for good reasons you'll soon figure out (see below).

Cougars: Some women just enjoy sex for what it is later than most. Although the term "cougar" often carries a negative connotation, it doesn't have to, especially if you're looking for "no strings attached sex" from a woman who knows her way around the bed -- and a man's body.

as difficult as ever

Now let's take a look at reasons why things haven't necessarily become easier for men to get any. Once again, female nature explains much of this, and it's your responsibility to learn and work with it.

Luckily for us, women aren't as superficial as men. Many men forget this and spend hours in the gym, thinking that their sculpted abs or pumped up pythons will act as chick magnets. Taking care of yourself and working out are definitely important, but that time would be better spent just talking to women and gaining experience interacting with them.

Remember players; at some fundamental level, almost all women you'd ever try to bed look for one thing (if not many) before good looks: they want a man who will take charge and show them a great time sexually. Your confident attitude will convey that much faster than your looks, and that confidence only comes with practice. That hasn't changed, and never will.

Nesting time Although most women enjoy a take-charge, sexually-experienced man, many have barriers to letting themselves accept one. Depending on where they're at on their romantic learning curve, they may have already been there, done that. Women in their mid-20s are starting to get over this sexual-experience-gathering stage, and become more selective about whom they spend their nights with. They're starting to think about nesting and who might father their children. Playtime is over; the clock is ticking.

You'll soon realize that you're wasting your time if you're looking for something casual and she's not. She'll be less flirtatious and forward, making you jump through more hoops and waiting longer to escalate things. If you're sure you're not looking for commitment, pursuing such a woman will just mislead her. This is where players get a bad name.

Super fine Another reason players start to run into trouble is because, as they perfect their pickup skills, they start to aim at a higher breed of women (i.e. harder to get). "I've had plenty of average women; I'm only shooting for total babes now," your inner player voice says. If so, bear in mind some basic facts.

Hotter women, young or old, get more attention and so many have learned to be both pickier and harder to please, simply because they can be. Also, be careful not to confuse your higher standards as a player with a woman's higher standards for men, which often revolve around one question: "Is he marriage material?"

Seduced and kept interested by her smoking looks, you can easily get yourself on the wrong track that way if you're really not looking for commitment. Remember that there are also hot women just looking for fun like you are, so figure that out early on.

Now for some tips to help you land the sex maniacs...

tips for finding good prey

Give a woman the 15-minute test It may take you longer at first, but eventually you should be able to tell in about that time whether a woman is, a) interested in you, and b) up for casual sex. How will you know? Practice.

Be honest about your intentions Many players lose confidence and feel guilty because they think they have to dupe women and live a lie to get the casual encounters they seek. I've noticed most women get their hackles up about the word "player," maybe because it sounds like "play her," as in "play her for a fool," or as she would say, "I got played."

These same women have very little against the term "playing the field" -- something women do too -- so think of your actions as that.

You're not cheating on these women (you haven't promised any commitment), nor cheating them out of what they want (women like sex too). As long as you're always respectful and straightforward, and can combine those traits with the right degree of charm and playfulness, no woman should end up resenting you.

Don't be eager to please As soon as you start playing her games -- asking her what she'd like to do instead of making a confident suggestion, being overly attentive (making sure her drink is okay, for example), etc. -- rather than her playing yours or playing as equals, you'll be waiting way longer for what you're aiming at and, ultimately, you may not get it because she'll respect you less and be less intrigued.

Women who are going to go for casual sex want a man to be strong. You should still be a gentleman, but, above all else, always be confident and things will fall much more into place.

Think of your strengths If you are going for a woman younger than you, for example, remember to think about it from her angle -- you're an older, worldly and therefore confident man with the skill to pleasure her.

The fact that you don't know the latest 50 Cent track, or that your hairline is doing a backwards shuffle, these things don't matter as much to women, especially those interested in your other experiential qualities.

wrap it up

As long as players look for the right women who are at the right time in their lives -- in other words, women who are looking for sex -- it should be as easy as ever (if not easier, thanks to new female attitudes toward sex) to get yourself some. Play the field, but play it cool -- and always play it safe -- and watch your black book and calendar fill up with more hot dates than ever.