Sex on the Beach

Sex on the Beach

This summer's forecast: You'll exude cool like a Carrier, and she'll think you're hotter than Miami blacktop. Why? We've done all the beach prep work for you. Your new abs are in this month's Ask Men's Health. Everything you need to know about women is in the middle of the magazine. And your new swimsuit is right here. Dive in, already.

Boxers

BEST FOR GUYS WITH AN AVERAGE BUILD

For underwear and swim trunks, the rules are the same: Most men look best in boxers. Not too short, not too long, not too tight. Shop around for a button or drawstring waistband--they're more forgiving than elastic, which exacerbates the fat-belly fold-over effect. But if you're okay with that look, get on with your phat self.

Briefs

BEST FOR MH-COVER-MODEL TYPES

Do you look like the man on the cover of this magazine? If so, Gregg, this style might suit you. Good or ill, briefs show it all. In other words, they're designed for really, really, really ridiculously good-looking and in-shape men who don't suffer from monkey-rug back, flat ass, micropenis, or other aesthetic disorders. Traditional briefs (below, center) are 3 to 4 inches in length on the sides and bikini cut. Square-cut trunks are a little longer--about 5 inches--and the legs are cut straight across. Both rate about 9.5 on the difficulty-to-pull-off scale. When in doubt, try them on in front of a mirror and ask yourself, Would I (or anyone) want to see this man on the beach?

Board Shorts

BEST FOR TALL GUYS

You don't have to be a surfer or an Old Navy kid to wear, and look good in, board shorts. But you do need to be tall. Long trunks create an instant Spud Webb effect--not a good thing if you're short to begin with. If you're less than 6 feet tall and choose this style, go with the 20-inch version instead of the 22-inch.

Perfect Style: Sanddbagging It

If you have to schlepp, schlepp in style

Don't just go to the beach; move in for the day. But ditch the plastic Kmart bag for something with a little more class. Like this bag by Rafé New York. Always pack an extra polo shirt (Club Monaco, shown), in case your exertions on the beach-volleyball court earn you an invite to cocktail hour. Cole Haan G Series with Nike Air Technology slide-on sandals are more stylish than flip-flops, and the air cushion makes them as comfortable as running shoes. The Speedo Surf Runner 2000 is a tiny, water-resistant FM radio. It clips onto your T-shirt or hat, providing the perfect accompaniment for running on the beach. We also like Neutrogena Healthy Defense Oil-Free sunblock because (a) it smells good, and (b) the cool applicator makes us feel like we're rubbing Chap Stick everywhere. And don't get caught ogling. These Giorgio Armani glasses have a snap-on magnetic shade.

Solis Rule of Style

Pale is sexier than melanoma, Sonny. The most important beach accessories are sunblock and a cool hat.

Swimwear Care

Rinse your suit in cold water after you've been in the ocean or pool to keep salt water and pool chemicals from fading the colors. When your suit needs a wash, swish it around in your sink with a mild soap like Dove. Harsh detergents and the cruel washing machine will have you shopping for new trunks before Labor Day.